Jared Kushner Snaps
Jared Kushner looks like Slender Man’s kid went to an East Coast prep school where he was bullied on a regular basis.
Jared Kushner looks like Michael Cera if he was bitten by a radioactive white privilege meme.
Jared Kushner looks like a dressed-up Mark Zuckerberg, and they both look like lunch to the poor and working class.
Jared Kushner’s favorite beverage is unpasteurized milk that he drinks through a paper straw.
Jared Kushner’s favorite meal is a slice of crumbled-up Wonder bread that he has his butler throw on the floor so he can peck at it.
Jared Kusner’s favorite song is an acoustic version of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” (because the original version is “too hardcore”).
Jared Kushner is so white he thought a trap queen was a female member of any royal family who was into bondage.
Jared Kushner is so white that he owns a complete boxed set of “Friends” DVDs (and also David Schwimmer).
Jared Kushner is so white that his second favorite song, after an acoustic version of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” is Mike Huckabee’s cover of “Everyone Wants to Rule the World.”
Jared Kushner is so dumb he thought he could do this.
Jared Kushner is so dumb he thinks his father-in-law actually likes and respects him.
Jared Kushner is so dumb he’ll continue to have that same stupid, Roswell-alien expression on his face as thousands more die and all his “plans” go up in smoke.
