Gregg Popovich for President
The headline may be a bit clickbait-y, but admit it: the prospect of President Pop is pretty exciting, isn’t it? Granted, nearly any option would look like the belle of the ball next to the “soulless coward” who currently occupies the White House. But when you think about it, an excellent case can be made for Gregg Charles Popovich as the 46th President of the United States. Here are several measures by why Coach Pop is a far superior choice to Sir Dotard.
1. Professional success
Popovich sports a gaudy resume as an NBA head coach: 1,000 games won, 20 consecutive winning seasons, five NBA championships, and the longest active tenure in professional US sports. As has been the case since time immemorial, Pop’s Spurs are a championship contender in the stacked Western Conference. If the skill to run an NBA team translates to running a country, then Pop would have to top the list.
As for the other guy, the one who promised “so much winning” during his term? Compared to Pop, he’s had as President an equivalent level of success to Tim Floyd, the hilariously inept Chicago Bulls coach who “led” his squad to a 49–190 record over four seasons. Perhaps the comparison is more unfair to Floyd, who did at least manage the 49 wins.
2. Military service
Previous service in the military isn’t a prerequisite to becoming president — after all, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama never served, and George W. Bush was in the National Guard. But military service, theoretically speaking, gives a President the first-hand perspective on war to use his or her powers as Commander-in-Chief judiciously. Viewed from this perspective, Pop’s military bona fides are impeccable: a graduate of the Air Force Academy, five years of active duty in the Air Force, and experience playing on and coaching Armed Forces basketball teams.
The other guy, while screeching about the supposed patriotism of others, took four educational deferments and one medical deferment (for a mystery heel spur) that kept him from active service during the Vietnam War.
3. Minority support
You don’t get to become a head coach in the NBA for over 20 years like Popovich has without the broad support of black players. In fact, Pop was recently voted Coach You’d Most Like to Play For by NBA players. Despite the no-nonsense, anti-glamour manner in which he’s run his Spurs for two-decades plus, Pop is highly popular in a predominantly African American league due in no small part to his “wokeness” on race relations and police brutality in this country.
By contrast, the other guy aligns himself with white supremacists, nationalists and neo-Nazis. It’s hard to imagine someone whose (adopted) motto is “America First” would even attempt to bring together a collection of individuals as culturally diverse as the Spurs have been.
4. Communication ability
As any NBA fan can attest, Popovich is one of the league’s most eloquent figures. (For proof of this, see of the previously posted links.) It’s also a given that his players consider him a successful communicator. On top of everything else, Pop is hands-down the most entertaining sideline interview the league has to offer. In particular, his playful sparring matches with the late, great Craig Sager were always worth the price of admission. Pop would deadpan a gruff annoyance with Sager’s questions and goof on his wardrobe, but ultimately it was all in good fun. Pop’s general grumpiness with sideline reporters is part of his “act,” but he also comes across as the type who doesn’t suffer fools gladly. Which perfectly explains why he hates Trump so much.
Through his public statements and toxic Twitter account, the other guy proves he’s a walking faux paus. I’m sure his latest imbroglio with the widow of an Iraq War veteran is giving Pop conniptions.
There are dozens, probably hundreds, of ways that Popovich would be a far superior President than the mango-hued homunculus we’re saddled with. But considering how far down that homunculus has dragged this country, restoring America’s standing might be a rebuilding job that’s too big even for Pop.
